it ain't easy

it ain't easy, this wretched retching from morn til eve
waiting, praying for a little reprieve
got my meds to take off the edge, but not much more
don't let this be like the last time, i implore

it ain't easy, on this couch day after day
four walls closing in on me, yet here i lay
the sands of time drain slowly as i hide under my covers
i'll be counting every second til' it's over

it ain't easy, watching baby girl play
knowing my chance to join her won't be today
heaving over and over into a blue baking bowl
i smile when i'm done so baby girl won't know

it ain't easy, but i'm happy anyway
this time can't compare to the soul that will stay
new hands to hold and tiny cheeks to kiss
to be anything but grateful would certainly be remiss

it ain't easy, so i take one day at a time
for the final outcome will truly be sublime
congratulations big sister, come november we'll add one more
i can hardly wait for our fun family of four!

She May be Wearing Green...

But that won't stop her cheeks from getting pinched :)

"Thank you Auntie Julia for making me so festive!"

Mama's not feeling well, but Grandma's in town and took Lydie to see the kittens at the pet shop.

What a LUCKY girl.

I Snagged Myself an Older Man

Kyle turned the big 2-6 on Sunday!

On Saturday, our bomb neighbors Eric, Gina, & Keira played with Lydie for 4 hours so we could do a little celebratin'.

Remember this?

We made pottery for my birthday back in November. 

And it took us this long to actually go back and paint what we made :)

We made a large decorative plate, a medium decorative plate, and a bowl that we'll finally be able to pick up in a week. The paint colors look muted at first, but when they come out of the kiln they'll be a bright red, a bright yellow, and a chocolate brown.

We ended our fun date with lunch at a nice little Italian restaurant.

On the morning of Kyle's birthday, I made blueberry vanilla french toast and brown sugar sausage for breakfast.

It's true when they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

It's the way to a Lyd heart too...

Of all of Kyle's presents, he was most excited about the coconut m&m's I ordered for him off of amazon. He kept saying, "Wow, you really listen!" 

He's an easy one to please.

Because it was Sunday, Kyle's actual birthday was pretty low key. Our church is from 12:30-3:30. We took Lydie on a walk around the neighborhood after her nap. I made lasagna, spinach salad, and sour dough garlic bread for dinner. Kyle got the regular phone calls from family members. I sang "happy birthday" while he blew out the imaginary candles on his snickers ice cream cake. 

And we watched 3 episodes of our new favorite show: "Once Upon a Time."

Lydie & the birthday boy before church. Man these guys are cute.

I am one lucky lady.

Happy Birthday, my love!

Musings of a Young Stay at Home Mom

Lydie's too busy dragging her Pooh Bear around the house to listen, so maybe you'll appreciate what's been on my mind this week.

1. Schedules are where it's at. For the last several months, Lyd and I have adapted to this previously unknown concept. Everyday, between 11 and 11:30 AM, we walk the 15 minutes it takes to get to the gym and begin our trek back home at 1 PM.  I cross paths with the same walkers everyday; nod to the same neighbors; greet the same 24 hour fitness front desk worker; hand Lydie over to the same Kid's Klub employee; work out to the same instructor with the same fellow step class junkies. They all know our names and our habits, with no real expectation of me but to inquire as to how their day is going and comment on the lovely weather. It's oddly comforting.

2. I discovered Nutella a week ago. Holy yum. But is advertising really succeeding in convincing the public that this chocolatey goodness is healthy? I really would like to jump on that bandwagon, but curiosity got the better of me and I looked at the label: 21 grams of sugar for 2 TBS. I'm so disappointed.

I tried repeating the commercial "hazel-nut spread with skim milk and a touch of coco" mantra in my head as I had it for a snack this morning. But the more logical side of me knew the truth: I had dessert for breakfast. And I liked it.

3. I'm addicted to Yahoo News. Ask me anything…I know all. Or all that mainstream, one-sided, liberal America wants me to know. What can I say? Guilty pleasure.

4, The Bachelor/Bachelorette: Do I like the show? I get asked this question with surprising frequency. And because I'm polite, I always respond, "Oh, I don't ever watch it." But, because this is my blog and you wouldn't be reading it if you didn't want to know what I ACTUALLY think, I'll tell you: MORALLY REPULSIVE, disgusting, mindless entertainment. Oops, I've done it now. I can already hear the insults being mentally hurled at me. But, I can't pretend I'm okay with that cleavage-infested, season long orgy being on in my home. The cat's out of the bag: I'm a TOTAL TV snob. I don't do "dirty." Though I am aware that we all have different definitions of the word. Don't judge me and I won't judge you.

5. We watched that one juicing documentary everyone is talking about and promptly went out and bought a nice blender. Kyle did his Google research and decided blending all of the fruits and veggies would be healthier than juicing them. We do it quite a lot.

But, don't let this trick you into believing we're always nutritionally minded. Within the last week and a half we've had Taco Bell, Carl's Jr, AND T.G.I Fridays for dinner. Geeze Louise.

6. Do I look like a teenager? Really, I want to know. I've learned to ignore the questioning glances and outright stare downs I get when I'm out alone with Lydia, but the comments are a little harder for me to feign indifference towards. Most notably was the woman who called out to me while on a walk.

Woman: "Have joy child, have joy!"

Me: "Oh, thank you. You too!"

Woman: "Things will look up, honey, don't you worry, things WILL look up!"

Me:  oh gosh, here it comes "Uh, yes, it's a nice day, isn't it?"

Woman: "That baby is a blessing."

Me: just leave it be "She sure is."

Woman: "Children raising children! I tell you what, Lord have mercy!"

Me: "Okay, have a nice day."

I'm 23, people. And I've been married for almost 4 years. This would NEVER happen in Utah. 

7. If the only time you see me is before 1:30 PM, you will assume that I wear the same variation of outfit everyday: Black running pants or capris with one of my many BYU tops. It's my wonderfully bland workout gear and I'm sticking to it. My one saving grace from totally crossing over into the world of conformity are these pretties:

They make me smile.

8. Speaking of my feet: Earlier this week, Kyle, Lydia, and I drove an hour and a half south to pick up a bunch of chiropractic tables for people at Kyle's school. While Kyle was helping to load the merchandise, Lydie and I were chatting it up with one of the owners. She commented on how incredibly small Lydia's feet are for her age (like everything else).

Really, her toesies are too cute for words.

But the opinions didn't stop there. She looked down at my feet and balked a little while asking, "What size do you wear, 8 1/2? Yeah, her feet will deeeefinitely grow."

A) How does one so accurately nail my shoe size right down to the half when barely glancing at my flip flop clad appendages?

B) If I didn't know any better, I'd say that woman just called me big foot. 

BOYS WEEKEND GETAWAY

Last month, Kyle's Dad called to invite him on a golf extravaganza. I'm pretty sure everything went silent for Kyle after the word "golf." Except for maybe the sound of celebratory fireworks shooting from his fingertips. When Rick mentioned that their foursome would be playing at the one and only Pebble Beach for 3 days, I thought my husband was going to have a self-induced aneurysm. I don't exactly speak "golf," but I could tell by the heavy breathing that this particular course was above par.

 Get it? The golf course was above par...I crack myself up.

For the next 2 weeks, Kyle made sure to get in several rounds of golf and trips to the driving range in order to brush up on his skills.

Aren't Lydia and I cozy looking cheerleaders?

I'm sure Kyle thought so.

Plus Lyd can double as a decent golf tee, so it's a win-win.

I love those cheekies.

Kyle repeatedly mentioned how much he was going to miss us gals, but between you and me, I'm pretty sure he was fibbing...

But, I'll let you be the judge of that ;)

This trip was special for a lot of reasons, but mainly for the time that Kyle got to spend with his Dad. Rick has brain cancer and we're not sure how much time we have left with him. Golf has always been the special bond that Rick has shared with his sons, so this was the perfect way for them to make another memory together.

Lance (uncle), Rick (dad), Cory (brother), Kyle

How gorgeous is this place?

They got to stay at the Pebble Beach Resort Hotel. I would get random texts from Kyle talking about the first class treatment they were all receiving. Every night, someone would knock on the door to see if they wanted their beds turned down. The fridge was always stocked with free sodas and treats. And the real surprise was when one of the employees drove to Walgreens to pick up a special bandaid for Cory's heal. Who does that?

 For 3 days they got to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous.

The crowning jewel of the trip was when Cory hit a hole in one!

He got so excited he tried to run and slide on the grass...I don't think that worked out too well for him.

The golf cart behind them radioed into the front desk to announce Cory's victory. He got to fill out a paper that was laminated and put into a leather bound book. As per tradition, Cory was supposed to go down to the bar and buy everyone a round. But, forget the fact that we don't believe in drinking alcohol, the men in this place drink $100 scotches. Cory laid low in the hotel room after that announcement. 

It was a weekend these guys will never forget!

The Dishes Can Wait, We've Got Monkeys to See.

I didn't feel like being responsible today...

So, I ate 3 See's Chocolates for breakfast and went to the zoo.

We live only 10 minutes away from this place...
It was high time I introduced Lyd to the animal kingdom.

The giraffes were my favorite.

Lydie's favorite were the goats.

Finally, someone who shares her grass nibbling fetish!

Best Buddies.
Or lovers. Depending on what kind of mood Tawny and I are in.

And what would the zoo be without a couple of these?
Great way to spend those never ending Mondays.

So, Um, You Wanna Catch a Movie or Somethin?

I've had to stop beginning my story-telling preludes with the phrase, "When we were dating..."

Because Kyle's response has always been, "When did we stop?" 

Of course, I view this expression as being synonymous with, "Before we were married..."

But, Kyle is right. We began officially dating 4 days after we first met and, though we were married almost 4 years ago, we've never stopped. 

My mom comes into town to play with her favorite granddaughter just about every month, which gives us the perfect excuse to go a courtin'.

Last month, we got really crazy and decided to hit up Wild Wednesday...unlimited bowling what whaaat!

6 rounds later, we both had blisters on our thumbs.

The next afternoon, Kyle came home from school complaining that his left bum cheek had been hurting all day. When I thought about it, I realized my left bum cheek had been hurting too. (TMI?) I chalked it up to all the squats I had done at the gym, but why would only one side hurt? And that's when we realized...we bowled for 3 hours. I think we laughed for 10 minutes straight. We were sore...from bowling. How shameful is that?

So, like the senior citizens we are, we decided to take it easy that night and do a traditional dinner and movie. "We bought a Zoo" was such a clean, heart warming show.

Lately, M.O.P.S has been focusing a little more on marriages rather than parenting. And one thing they keep driving home is the need for mom and dad to come first. Which, at first, may seem a little selfish, but I think few things give children as much security as the knowledge that their parents are not only a team, they're in love.

I purchased a ticket to the M.O.P.S date night challenge evening. It was "a night on the red carpet" with a program about the importance of dating your spouse along with Texas Road House catering.

MOPS & POPS :)

Lydie was a champ in the M.O.P.S nursery. She loves all of the toys and sunny care takers there, and even though we kept her up 2 hours past her bedtime, there was no complaining from her!

While every marriage has areas that need more attention than others, dating and having fun together has never been something that Kyle and I have had to work at (yet!). I know the ability to go out will become more complicated as our family grows, but the addition of one little Lydie bug has done nothing but bring our family closer together.